Movie: Battleship (2012)

Rating: C

After seeing sales from the relic line of Transformers, it looks like Hasbro might be wanting to tap that keg again for Battleship. And from the looks of things, they're going to milk it for all it's worth. I mean, yes, they'll make money from the movie, but there's likely going to be some sort of a multiplier effect in terms of merchandising. Battleship was nothing more than a board game; one with very limited variables and variations. Now, not only can they sell the board game, they can sell a video game, boats, action figures, etc etc etc. So who cares if Rihanna can't act a lick?



Seriously. This girl should NOT quit her day job. Given lots of screen time with very limited lines, you'd think that she ought to be able to pull of keeping a stone face. The few lines she had, it felt like she was reading them for the first time. But, I guess everybody's gotta start somewhere. *sigh*.

The pacing and flow of the movie was choppy, haphazard, and full of holes. It's a wonder why Peter Berg gets so many chances to direct such half baked, barely mediocre, vapid movies. Maybe he should just stick with Friday Night Lights. That seems to be the only thing to his credit that deserves any recognition.

That being said, there's enough bangs and booms to keep this movie at least somewhat entertaining, and it certainly doesn't hurt keeping Brooklyn Decker around. And after John Carter, Taylor Kitsch really could have used something to put him back on the right track. I'm just not so sure that Battleship is that something.

Oh. For those of you so inclined, it wouldn't be such a bad idea to stick around after the credits. Heck, if you stayed after The Avengers, you might as well stick around for this one too right? haha.

Cheers.

Movie: Resident Evil - Apocalypse (2004)

Rating: C

A perfectly written, well acted, brilliantly directed film this is not. But I love it! It's a movie that thanks the fans of the game by adding lots of easter eggs and paying homage to the game, not by staying true to the game's storyline, but taking enough of the game's aspects, and spinning out a different story altogether. And most importantly, not taking itself too seriously.



Was it a brilliant cinematic feature? Absolutely not. And it's not supposed to be. It's a popcorn movie through and through with hot girls in great outfits kicking zombie ass. Normally, I'm bothered by holes in movies, but in this case, who cares! I mean seriously. Why do zombie dogs all look like demonised dobermans? What, Chihuahuas can't be infected too? And what about cats? Bunny rabbits? Chickens? Mosquitoes? Probably would have been a better idea to have left out the fluffies. But who cares. It was fun to watch.

Milla Jovovich returns to lead the charge against the undead as Alice. One of the best things in the entire series is Alice's wardrobe. Bad ass, sexy, and totally awesome. Yes, I'm sure I sound like a total pimply faced teenaged gamer drooling over this character, but that's part of the appeal of this series. Again, don't take it seriously. Enjoy the physically impossible stunts Alice and her crew pull off. Oh, and I have no idea who this Sienna Guillory is, she can't act a lick, and I TOTALLY wish that they would have just kept her natural accent, but she looked spot on as Jill Valentine, and that's again, awesome.

As long as they keep pumping this series out, I'm likely going to keep buyin' the popcorn.

~Cheers.

Game: Green Lantern - Rise of the Manhunters (2011)

Genre: 3rd Person Action
Game Play: 3 / 5
Graphics: 3.5 / 5
Storyline: 3.5 / 5
Re-Playability: 3 / 5
Overall: 3 / 5

Quite honestly, I enjoyed it. I like playing games with heavy story support. And quite frankly, I found the story more compelling than the Green Lantern movie.



I played the PS3 version of the game. After games like Metal Gear Solid 4, Uncharted, and Assassin's Creed, I've come to expect some spectacular graphics. Unfortunately, Rise of the Manhunters came just a little short. And I found the entire game to be such. It just came up a little bit short. It was ok, entertaining enough, but there wasn't anything great about it.

You're either running through a pretty linear plane, or flying through the air. When you're in the air, so long as you keep moving, you pretty much can't die, and you'll make it through the section. On the ground, you get to use your ring. There are some super moves that you can use the ring for, called "Constructs". Constructs are available for purchase with experience points. There are enough constructs to buy to play the game MAYBE 2x. But I was really hoping for a whole lot more. There are some puzzles in the game, but none that gave you too much grief.

I did however, encounter a couple of glitches that I wasn't too pleased about. After unlocking one of the doors, it was still locked. I ended up going online to check the walkthrough and found no additional locks for the door. I was finally able to get through it after turning the machine completely off and then back on. Really, it was a bit of a nuisance. I'm not sure if it was just the disc I had that was missing this information, or if it's missing on the PS3 system. There is one piece of key information that, again, I found on the walkthrough that wasn't part of the dialogue in my game. Once I heard that, I was able to get through the level. But it wasn't available on my game at all.

Aside from a few nuisances, the game isn't horrible. Granted, Green Lantern was one of my favourites growing up, so that might have something to do with it. Oh, if you want to beat the game REALLY easily? Have Player 2 jump in. Just to stand there. The AI's for some reason enjoy beating up the decoy more than beating up on you.

~Cheers.

I'm glad that the storyline was separate from the movie tho.